We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
