from now on my penis is your penis
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
