i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
