he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
