I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
