i used baking grease as lip gloss
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
