What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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