1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize