So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
