You can't motorboat a personality
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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