i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize