I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
