Your mouth is God's brothel.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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