Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
