kristin has been a bad kristin
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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