Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
