watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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