a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Randomize
