I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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