"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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