We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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