Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
