I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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