i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
