Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
