I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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