i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
