Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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