that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm too high and old for this...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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