How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
