He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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