Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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