I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
