Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
