We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize