going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
