Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I believe in your delicious
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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