I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
