at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
