I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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