I got chris browned last night
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
