Whod you bang
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's rum buckets o'clock
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
