you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
