dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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