If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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