i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My vagina is officially offended.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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