Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
