oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
