Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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