i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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