there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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