Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
