she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
