It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
