im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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