If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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