I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
