I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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