remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you traded sex for a burrito?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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