Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
