I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
