I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
