VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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