after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
