the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
