that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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