I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
